Is this a Canadian thing? I can see how this would be funny if I was from Canada.

Alas, I am not.

I totally came across as an asshole right there. I am very, very sorry.

True. But sometimes. Sometimes you just wanna be lazy.

I am confused and maybe the wisdom of the sammich can help me out.

This person likes bran muffins. While bran is likely good for helping things move along in the bowel, my Atkins book says carbs will kill me. Bran muffins are jammed with carbs.

What wins this one? My colon, or my heart?

Regards,
Samuel L. Bronkewitz Esquire.