We at strongsmell.com view poetry with great suspicion. It cannot be an accident, after all, that all the great societies of the Western world have relegated their poets to lives of poverty.

Poets spread vileness and filth everywhere they go. Especially the following kinds of vileness and filth:

• cappuccino
• wearing berets
• wearing berets indoors
• turtleneck sweaters
• goatées
• fondness for "New Age" music
• cigarettes
• sunglasses
• laissez-faire personal hygiene
• gum disease
• etc.

That said, we at strongsmell.com pride ourselves on our willingness to take risks. We didn't get to be Your Premier Gateway To The Best Of The Net™ by standing still, after all.

So.

We would be to prepared to feature a poem that met the following conditions:

• it must not be "lyrical"
• it must not be "heartwarming"
• it must not make reference to children, nature, or family
• it must not stir emotions of any kind
• it must not contain any vivid imagery
• it must rhyme
• it must abuse the Swiss, or, alternatively, the French

That is all.