LAS VEGAS - You know what they say about Las Vegas, right? When you go into the casinos, women in short dresses come up to you and ask whether you would like a drink. You say that you would like a Bee's Kiss, they head off to the bar. Soon afterward, they come back and give you exactly the drink you asked for. And then -- get this -- you don't have to pay!

I didn't believe it, either, but the stories turned out to be completely true. Yes, in casinos in Las Vegas, the beverages are served free of charge.

Wait, there's more.

In Las Vegas, meals are also served free of charge. All you have to do is walk into a casino and wait for a woman in a short dress to approach you. When she asks whether you would like a drink, just say the secret password.

Next, she will ask you whether you would like surf or turf or towel. You will find it tough to do this, but you must answer by saying "towel."

Yes, I realize that I have not yet told you the secret password. That's called "building suspense," dumbass.

Okay. After you have said "towel," you must quickly show the woman some ID. A passport is best, but a driver's licence will do if you have left your passport back in the hotel safe. If you have left your passport somewhere else, you should keep close tabs on it. Thieves and criminals generally find passports very tough to resist.