LAS VEGAS - These are dark days indeed. For evil is spreading across our great land, and it threatens to consume all we hold dear. It is an evil wrought by the twin demons drink and lust.

And where do those demons spend their leisure time? In Las Vegas, that's where.

Most of the time, they lounge poolside at the MGM Grand or the Luxor, sipping beverages with sinister names like "Maiden's Prayer" and "Red Snapper." When the mood strikes them, they wander into the casino, where they bet real cash money on statistical improbablilties.

Once, one of them bet that the little roulette ball was going to land in the "4" slot. It didn't, but the demon laughed anyway. Another time, one of them bet that the Devil Rays were going to win a game, even though they weren't a very good baseball team.