Movie reviews you can trust, by Bret Dawson.
The Black Stallion
This is a movie about Mickey Rooney. It teaches us that the best way to look backward is under the arm, not over the shoulder.
Heidi
This film is about sheep and also goats. It teaches us that, while cheese is usually orange, it need not be. (Fine for all ages, but parental guidance is recommended.)
Beethoven
This movie combines backyard cook-outs with scheming real estate agents. It teaches the effective use of tablecloths and flatware.
Mary Poppins
A film about cough syrup. The lesson: whenever you see a penguin, you should get a bulge in your trousers and have trouble walking.
Poetry policy
