Contrary to widely-held belief, the modern organic-food movement did not begin in California. No, it got its start thousands of kilometres away, in the land of the Swiss.

Which is called Switzerland.

Except by the Swiss, who call it "Confoederatio Helvetica."

Why they call it this is a mystery. Some people, jealous of Swiss achievements in hospitality and the arts, have suggested that the name is entirely arbitrary: a meaningless collection of grunted syllables that sounded nice to Swiss ears and just kind of caught on. It is an amusing little explanation, and it does satisfy the basic human desire to be mean and abusive, but it is untrue.

You see, "Confoederatio Helvetica" has no pronunciation. In this respect, it is very similar to the name chosen by the popular musician now known as " ." In any case, there is no grunting involved.