June 17, 1999. St. Patrick's Gay.
Breathe deeply. This used to be an advertisement for macaroni and cheese.

buddryywouldshoeonetoeighthuffiglaikadebt
++Unprintably
++Euphemism
++Westward
++Letdowns
++Lambskin
++Saltines
++Mousse

So, there used to be this guy
Who wrote a column for this weekly newspaper. He mostly wrote about beer and sometimes whisky or vodka or throwing up. One day, he wrote this:

"The goal of government is to keep the oppressed masses just happy enough that they'll spend their spare time buying scratch n' win tickets instead of building pipe bombs."

And a lot of people wrote letters to the editor to say "ditto." So the columnist ran for mayor and came fourth.

He smokes.



^ June 1999 ^

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