An ongoing series on the periodic table's religious right. Today, Bret Dawson begins a multi-part report on argon.
If you're going to go around inhaling argon all the time, you will sooner or later have to face the consequences, which are unpleasant indeed.
Then there's the music, which you will also have to face and which frankly makes the consequences look inconsequential.
But first things first.
A. Consequences of inhaling argon all the time:
1. Supporting the incorrect football club.
2. Super Halitosis 5000 DX™.
3. Failing to update one's web site.
4. Heavy, squeezing pain in the centre of the chest, possibly radiating to the jaw or left arm. Come to think of it, that sounds just like a heart attack. Weird, huh?
5. Oh crap.
6. Hang on a sec, okay? Just gotta... catch my breath...
7. Shortness of breath.
8. Crap. Crap crap crap.
9. Difficulty speaking or understanding speech.
10. Difficulty understanding written communication.
11. Dingalingaling! Fatang!
12. Olé olé dingalingaling!
13. ...
14. Wang!
B. Music:
1. Mostly Styx.
Poetry policy
