Today: Diva's story

I remember it like it was yesterday. Diva #1 and Diva #2 and I were in my kitchen, getting a little wild 'n' crazy on the Raspberry Thriller herb tea. You know, they say the stuff is caffeine free, but we were all about two point five four centimetres off the ceiling, let me tell you, so we're not just talking plain old tea here, understand?

It was late at night and we needed to just cut loose and get busy and that's just what we were doing and who cared what the neighbours think. So you can see how things might have maybe got a little out of hand.

I'm not normally one to kiss and tell but I think Diva #2 was even closer to the ceiling than the rest of us. Like maybe only one point two seven centimetres or even closer as in she had to stand on the table to get that close and even then she was up on her tippy toes and they were pretty tippy if you catch my drift.

Now I don't ordinarily do this kind of thing but like I was saying the Raspberry Thriller was making me all hot and giddy and I accidentally caught a glimpse or two up Diva #2's skirt. I could hardly believe it but she had a tattoo right on her you know what!

I didn't get a super good look but I know what I saw and you just better think good and carefully before you do something like that to your buns is all I'm saying.

Because no matter how good your tattoo artist is there's always room for interpretation. And I know I sound like a total sellout saying this but first impressions count and you want people to understand the first time they see it so you can have a good laugh about the '80s and Bill Cosby and that WAS a really bad idea wasn't it?

And you don't want to have people guessing wrong because here's a question you DO NOT want to have to ask when you're in that situation: