This, my friend, is where the feet meet the street. Where the pudding proves itself. Where the bullet hits the bone.

Suppose you want to buy some lysergic acid diethylamide. Or, as it's called on the street, "Mary Jane." This illegal substance is very popular with people who work in the worlds of finance and investment banking. As they say on Wall Street, "Where you find the bankers, you'll find the tankards."

A "tankard," of course, is a piece of sophisticated drug paraphenalia which allows users to extract LSD (or, as it's called on the street, "Mary Jane") from the pressurized containers in which it is packed without fear of burns or other injuries.

Of course, these people are really only fooling themselves. As we all know, chronic use of LSD (or, as it's called on the street, "Mary Jane") is never risk-free. In fact, it can lead to such serious illnesses as scabies, gout, bloating, cramps, and Phedward's Disease.