Okay.

So, first you take one of those things. You know -- the ones with all the boats and the canker sores and everything.

Oh, and the sharp leaves.

No, you don't need the leaves, dumbass. I was just telling you about the leaves so you'd be able to indentify the correct fruit.

Of course you need fruit. Haven't you ever seen a photo of a Mai Tai? Dammit, one more whiff of either stupidity or insubordination out of you, and I'l kick your punk ass so hard you'll wish you'd been born without one.

Honestly, what do you think this is? A babysitting session? A visit to Magical Storyland? Some kind of frivolous exercise in Happy Fun Playtime?

Yeah, that's it. I'm here for your entertainment. Well, if you don't want to learn how to make a Mai Tai, that's up to you. See if I care.

Say, does anybody know if this "Cher" person has a last name?

Next: How to win at cards.