| B.C. |
A. |
| Collects large fee for speaking to large audiences. |
Does not have good explanation for leaking roof. |
| At public-speaking engagements, frequently discusses childhood, dental medicine, dangling lines of saliva. |
Is responsible for blue-beige colour of exposed cinderblock in dentist's office. |
| Frequently invites children to make embarrassing announcements on national television. |
Does not have good explanation for glass-block wall around dentist's X-ray chair either. |
| At public-speaking engagements, also discusses passage of intestinal gas, fathers' tendency to blame same on invisible animals. |
Does not have good explanation for impractical location of gents' toilet. |
| Thinks self hilarious. |
Really needs sign-off on that set of drawings by Thursday. |
| Disguises self as OB/GYN for television appearances. Strenuously denies reports of dirty-old-mannish behaviour. |
Likes idea of blueprints w/blue background, white figures. Does not have good explanation for repeated failure of actual blueprints to meet said standard. |
| Frequently probes inside of lower lip with tongue. |
Ew. |
| With open mouth. |
Ew. |
| On television. |
Ew. |
| Would like to buy the world a Coke. |
Would like world to buy more geodesic domes. |
| Speaks slurrily, spraying room in process. |
You might try getting a handle on some of this bodily-function stuff, you know. |
| Is rich! Filthy dirty rotten stinking rich! Needs not care about others' distaste for lippy, salivic habitry. |
Also would like more spires. |
| So you have as-spire-ations, do you? |
... |
| Haw! |
... |
| Thinks self hilarious. |
Just remembered Charles Bronson was architect in Death Wish. |
| ... |
Who's got the attention of the room now, sloppyman? |
| Flizm flazm! |
... |
| Flaaazm flaazm flizm! |
... |
| ... |
Ever seen Boston City Hall at night? It's just like Boston City Hall during day, only darker. |
| Winner: Architecture, on account of its history of neutrality re: instant pudding. |
