Washington's very, very favourite former member of the San Francisco Symphony Board of Governors talks about the politics of protest, the power of electronic media, and why she thinks Baghdad needs a good hiding.

strongsmell.com: So, Ms. Rice, let's start by talking a little about...

Condoleezza Rice: It's Doctor Rice.

smell: Doctor of what?

CR: Philosophy.

smell: No kidding.

CR: I never kid.

smell: Ah.

CR: It interferes with the exercise of power.

smell: ...

CR: If people think you're kidding they don't do what you tell them.

smell: So if you're such a "Doctor" of "Philosophy," tell me this: Is the Zermelo-Fraenkel axiomatization of set theory just a bogus crutch for lazy thinkers, or do its logical ends justify the means?

CR: ...

smell: Hmmm?

CR: ...

smell: What's the matter? You know the answer but you're having trouble spitting it out?

CR: ...

smell: Moron got your tongue?

CR: It is time for this to end. Enough is enough. Putting this off is not an option.

smell: Well, we're not putting it off. We're doing the interview right now.

CR: ...

smell: Duh.

CR: ...

smell: It's not real science at all, is it?

CR: ...

smell: Political "science." That's a bit like economics only with fewer testable hypotheses, isn't it?

CR: Is that a problem for you?

smell: No, ma'am.

CR: ...

smell: ...

CR: If I had a brick I would hit you with it.

smell: I would duck.

CR: Curses. That was my action of last resort.

smell: ...

CR: ...

smell: Would you like a lozenge?