The noted philosopher, philanthropist and cardiac patient climbs out of the bunker to talk about war, oil, terrorism, and the Bill Clinton legacy.

strongsmell.com: Back off, mofo!

Dick Cheney: Pardon me?

smell: Back off. Step away. Don't stand so close.

DC: No, I understood the first time. But why?

smell: Mofo.

DC: ...

smell: Well, for one thing your breath is terrible.

DC: Really?

smell: You smell like a hatchery.

DC: Fish or chicken?

smell: Fish. Although there is a bit of an ammonia tang in the finish, and that of course reminds one of poultry manure. Say 80 percent fish 20 percent chicken leavings.

DC: I don't know what to say.

smell: Say you're sorry about the terrible stench you're giving off, and then go back into hiding where you won't bother anyone.

DC: You don't want to talk about foreign policy?

smell: Okay, let's talk about foreign policy. Who do you think has fouler breath, you or the ambassador from Yugoslavia to the United States?

DC: ...

smell: He smokes.

DC: ...

smell: Lordy, do you ever need a Tic Tac.

DC: ...

smell: I heard a rumour that the President isn't very smart. Is that true?

DC: Oh, goodness, yes indeed. He's daft as a hole.

smell: A hole in what?

DC: Why would it matter in what? A hole is an absence. It is a non-thing. A hole is composed of zero. Of null. There is no hole.

smell: ...

DC: ...

smell: Would you mind not using any more vowels?