The world's fastest woman slows down and sits down for an unprecedented interview.

strongsmell.com: How's your husband doing?

Marion Jones: Fantastic. Marvelous. Awesome.

smell: You got something personal against adverbs?

MJ: Not so much. I just don't like them as good as adjectives.

smell: Isn't that a dangerous way to think and act when you're a multiply-sponsored role-model athlete with a steroid-popping cheat of a husband?

MJ: Jeez, that's kind of harsh.

smell: Sorry.

MJ: Well, you should be. And it wasn't steroids, it was a mislabeled dietary supplement. All he was doing was eating right and taking his vitamins. You expect me to leave him for that?

smell: He's a shotputter.

MJ: And?

smell: Oh, come on. Tell me you think shotputting is actually a cool thing to do.

MJ: ...

smell: Didn't think so.

MJ: I'll tell you what's cool.

smell: What?

MJ: Staying in school!

smell: ...

MJ: And eating a good breakfast!

smell: ...

MJ: And McCain Pizza Pockets, because they're baked not fried!

smell: So shotputting's not even in the running, huh?

MJ: ...

smell: Didn't think so.

MJ: ...

smell: You ever tried any of those mislabeled dietary supplements yourself?

MJ: Maybe.

smell: Does that mean yes?

MJ: It means maybe. If it said "mislabeled" on the label, then it wouldn't be mislabeled, would it?

smell: ...

MJ: That's called the Epimenides Paradox.

smell: ...

MJ: I'm smart.