An ongoing guide to life on the edge, edited and presented by Bret Dawson.

Today: How to swindle an easy mark

The best way to spot an easy mark is to look into his eyes, or into her eyes, if she's a girl. That also applies if she's a woman.

Consider what you see in the mark's eyes. Is he meeting your gaze? Turning away out of shyness or distraction? Nervously glancing left and right? Flitting in and out of eye contact with you?

If she is a teen, that should be her eyes, but not if he is a youth. Clear?

Now, an easy mark will eagerly make eye contact with you, so watch out for that. You can totally get a scratch on your cornea if you're not careful. You might consider wearing glasses or shades until you're a little more comfortable with the intimacy. If you are not getting any eye contact, you are probably a big loser and should give up on the swindling.

Next, ask the man/woman/girl/boy/teen/youth if you can please have a sip from his/her/her/his/her/his milkshake.

Then ask if you can please have another sip.

Then drink deeply of the milkshake.

Then have another sip without asking.

Then take off the lid and stir.

Then use the straw to trowel the rest of the milkshake into your mouth.

At this, the mark will say "Gee whiz, why don't you just get your own milkshake?"

Your reply should be relaxed and direct, and should appear unrehearsed:

"Did you know what makes a milkshake easy to sip through a straw?"

"No," the easy mark will reply.

"It's air," you will say. "The key is to get the machine to truly frappé the ingredients and emulsify a good bit of air into the liquid. Then it's not so thick and sludgy."

The easy mark will be impressed with the breadth and depth of your knowledge, and will think of you whenever he/she/she/he/she/he enjoys a milkshake in the future.

If you have combed your hair, you may also get some nookie.