The substance-abuse survivor, great statesman, and all-round boss of Earth slows down and sits down to talk about macroeconomics, foreign policy, nucular weapons, and his close relationship with the Lord.
strongsmell.com: Please stop that.
George W. Bush: Okay.
GWB: I'm just fooling with you.
GWB: You know how you're always reading that I am charming and make friends easily? That's how I do it.
smell: Do you like to slap people on the back too?
GWB: Very much.
smell: Thought so.
GWB: And high fives. Those are the best!
smell: Do you find people like it when you slap them on the back and give them high fives?
GWB: Well, yes, obviously. How else would you explain my feverish popularity?
smell: You weave a very tight argument, I must admit.
smell: What else do you like to do?
GWB: Golfing, of course. And the football. Sunday afternoons are my time! Woo!
smell: Do you often entertain at the White House?
GWB: No offence, mister, but duh. I'm the total life of the party!
GWB: I can make these wicked hats out of newspaper, really fast. I bet I could make 30 of them in less than two minutes. And I always have stickers to put on them and everybody loves that.
smell: Maybe I should re-phrase the question. Not are you entertaining?, but do you often have guests?
GWB: What counts as "often"?
smell: More than once a week, for example.
GWB: Probably. Thing is, one day kind of just blends into the next and it's all so tough to keep track. I have a very busy schedule, you know.
smell: Of course.
GWB: Like, there's this guy who follows me around and it's totally his job just to tell me what to do next.
GWB: You ever watch that show on TV with the old fart who looks like Emilio Estevez?
GWB: That guy's house looks so much like the White House it's creepy.
GWB: He has a guy who follows him around and tells him what to do next too.
GWB: You're telling me.
GWB: Do you think they made that show just to relate to me?
GWB: That would be really nice of them if they did.